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Questo post probabilmente ha senso solo per me.

King of Swords (R) – If you wish to achieve your goal – align your focus, will and intention so that it is moving in the same direction. Recognize injustice, unfairness or an unyielding decision – remain centered and focus on maintaining your balance. Recognize authority which has been corrupted – strength used for its own ends of power and dominance. See clearly the arrogance of a powerful mind turned in on itself, recognizing only its own desire for control. See your inventiveness – put your ideas into practice and bring them into your physical reality.

At one extreme – an overly aggressive man, self-righteous or egomaniacal. At the other extreme, a weak, unassertive type with a lack of self-esteem. Too studious vs. lazy intellect. Fastidious organizer/perfectionist vs. the sloppy non-organizer. Non-stop talker vs. the silent type. Someone who never listens vs. the nosy eavesdropper. Bad planner vs. the over planner – the worrier.

Questions to Answer: Who is laying down the law? How are you using your ability to be rational, logical and analytical? Who is judging or criticizing you?

L’umore oggi è veramente sotto le scarpe, sarà Novembre, sarà quel che vi pare, ma davvero oggi sono più cupa dell’altra faccia della Luna.

Potrei cercare di trarre qualche pseudo-insegnamento o conforto dalla carta che ho estratto prima, ma avendo appena finito di leggere “La svastica sul sole” di Philip Dick mi sentirei anche peggio affidandomi a sistemi di divinazione strampalati e criptici.

La mia unica consolazione è che presto abiterò da sola a Pavia, dove potrò deprimermi ad libitum, ma almeno circondata da cose belle (che presto documenterò, credo).

Ecco qua la carta che ho estratto. Ci manca solo che mi metta a lanciare le monete per comporre esagrammi adesso. Mah.

Ace of Pentacles (R) – Difficulty getting a project started or finished on time or to satisfaction. Inability to handle a basic, debilitating fear. Accept that you are capable of making the wrong choices and use your gifts of practical organization. Trust your “inner” voice now. Draw off your “inner” strengths to manifest what you want in both the internal and external worlds. The time has come for you to leave the familiar behind and travel through the Gateway to the mountains of wisdom. You have learned how material gifts can be abused by selfishness, by extreme competition or mistrust, by an over-dependency on security and comfort. Use this knowledge and wisdom to deal with your problems. It is time for you to move on – grow up and assert your independence.

Questions to Answer: What new opportunities for work, stability, home, money or health do you have? What is making you feel secure and grounded? How can you use a recent gift? What plan are you putting in motion? What kind of seeds are you planting? How are you being rewarded for your accomplishments?

Mi piace l’arcano dell’Imperatrice, è un simbolo molto forte e positivo, soprattutto per noi donne. Dopo tanto che non guardavo i tarocchi, mi è uscita questa carta, però rovesciata. Il significato è piuttosto interessante:

The Empress (R) – Emotionally preserve the essence and quality of life; mentally give birth to new ideas; physically nurture your life creations and spiritually protect them with a healing and compassionate hand.

Release yourself – hold on to your beliefs and “FEEL” the power inside you – allow the opposites to come together in conscious love and awareness. Recognize that feeling insecure or experiencing career setbacks are wasted energies that result in feelings of despair and failure – unproductive activity that will effect your home and your income. When this occurs, you need to seek “inner” council – seek answers to your questions and the solutions will present themselves. Knock and you will be allowed to enter. You can not retreat from your feelings – reject or deny your emotions or suppress your desires. You must solve your emotional problems through your intellectual awareness by calmly thinking through them and allowing yourself to experience a more stable and rewarding balance.

Too much or too little, leads to imbalances that must eventually be corrected. Imbalance in teacher/student principle – must input and output information equally so that we must all find our teachers and our students. Over or under administration, too much or too little authority in a given situation. Objective information must be balanced with intuition. Too much logic or not enough, over or under organized.

Magari, prima o poi, mi uscirà anche dritta! Anche se ho paura che il mio lieto fine sia ancora ben lontano.

[nota a me stessa: ripassare la grammatica italiana!!]

Intanto, pensavo che la luna piena si esaurisse ieri, e invece stamattina il gadget di Google mi dice che è ancora lì. Uffa.

La verità è che è una cazzata madornale quella di fingere di essere influenzati dagli eventi planetari, astrali o cosiddettamente irrazionali come i “segni” o i tarocchi. La verità è che sono delle scuse belle e buone. Sì. Belle, da un punto di vista puramente estetico; buone, in quanto molta gente ci crede davvero (ma davvero). Sono delle cortine fumogene gettate lì per distogliere l’attenzione dalla realtà dei fatti. Ossia, che nella vita si fanno a volte cose pazze, irragionevoli, sbagliate e assolutamente fuori luogo. Appigliarsi a queste stupidaggini è tanto sciocco, patetico e infantile quanto necessario. 

Negando queste semplici, idiosincratiche, maniacali bugie, ci si ritroverebbe nella spiacevole situazione di dover dire la verità. E la verità, a volte, fa paura.

Why am I so afraid of change? Why do I hold on to things?
Why am I so scared of just letting it all go?

Sometimes I am so petrified by fear I can’t even think anymore.
I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep.

I don’t remember who said it, but as stupid as it may seem the future is tomorrow’s today and the past is yesterday’s today.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could live each day to its fullest, and do exactly what I want to do, say everything that I want to say, instead of holding back and hiding behind all the ifs, buts and maybes. Then all this stuff wouldn’t clutter up my mind and my life.

I envy people who are brave enough to live like that.
After all, what’s there to lose. For every loss, something else can be gained.

I just so *wish* that I wasn’t such a coward..