//o^_^o\\ wakarimasen.org

 The full moon is nearly here… I can see it in the sky and I can definitely feel it.

Today I totally understood the meaning of the 18th tarot card, The Moon. I mean, it was me, 100%. So silly, lunatic, doubtful, deceitful, sentimental, confused, delusional, worried and all in all completely nuts. The problem is, this card doesn’t come for me anymore. Perhaps I don’t need a card to tell me I am turning into a nutcase!!

Today my friend was telling me that I shouldn’t always try to read so much between the lines, and find meaning where perhaps there isn’t any. My husband told me I should stop being superstitious, reading horoscopes, shuffling cards and looking up at the sky.

But my mind and what’s more important my inner feelings were telling me… if you’re gonna be superstitious, you’ve gotta be it all the way! They were telling me to embrace irrationality. As I said, today I was The Friggin’ Moon.

Here I am now, looking at the nearly full moon, enjoying a few moments of clarity, and thinking, wondering why I do this to myself.

Sometimes everything is so wrong but feels so right! Why? Why?!?!

What do I want? What do I need?
Why do I want it? What’s in it for me?

I love the Beastie Boys! Today I had these lyrics going on in my head, and I was thinking… I mean, really… What is it that I want? Why? What difference would it make if I got it? Would I have the guts to go and get it? Would I be happy then?

The answer is, I am not sure. I don’t know. I have no friggin clue!!  :-/  

So I’ll keep humming this other song, trying to make some sense of my thoughts.
Trying to stop my thoughts altogether.

What’s pleasing to the eye
In the delusion of my sight
Is not what I find when I reach into the light
I have lost my mind

I’m walking through time
Deluded as the next guy
Pretending and hoping to find
That distant peace of mind

I don’t know
Who does know
There is no
Where to go

It’s not so simple as I try to wish
But then again what is?
There is no other worthy quest
So on I go

— I don’t know (the Beastie Boys)

I’ve just seen some lovely pictures taken on a trip to Rajasthan. I wanna go there too! Leave with empty suitcases and come back with kilometers of colorful fabric and truckloads of spices. I wanna go to the desert and ride a camel too, and see crocodiles in the river. I wanna eat whatever it is they eat there, and see the blue city of Jodhpur.

I wanna gooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I found a link to this online contest.. basically, at Kona Bay they’re giving away a ton of prizes (fabric, magazines, etc). And I love Kona Bay!!!!! Unfortunately, it looks like I’m not the only fabric-o-holic around…

Sigh.. :-/

And although I already have a ton of fabric, and I probably don’t need any more,  I love these prints!!

I’ve created my list (oh no.. not again!!) on 43things.com.
So far there are 40 things on my list.. I need help for the final 3!

Any suggestions? ^_^

41. Become famous! Like, if you google me you’d find a bunch of stuff, maybe even a wikipedia entry, and think, “oh, she’s cool”

42. Live in the country with close friends, grow organic fruits and veggies, have our own bed-and-breakfast, and be happy and radiant all the time

43. Stop daydreaming :-p